Remember that I saw a post posted by Mike on his Facebook which I find really meaningful. Good to add to my archives of Love Articles, Stories and Quotes.
This article is somewhat similar to one of the stories I typed previously titled "It is all within One self..."
Sorry that it is in Mandarin again, but I find it really meaningful in the original language. The title is translated as "Losing someone that don't love you and Losing someone who deeply loved him"
一个女孩失恋分手了哭着去见上帝。
上帝问她你为什么这么难过？
“他离开了我。”
“你还爱他吗？”女孩重重地点头。
“那他还爱你吗？”女孩想了想哭了。
上帝笑着说：“那么该哭的人是他，你只不过是失去了一个不爱你的人，而他失去的是一个深爱他人。”。。。
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
最好的不一定是最合适的，最合适的却一定是最好的
Happened to read this article from another user in Facebook which I find really interesting which I like to share with all. The title is in Mandarin but it translate as "The best may not be the most suitable, however the most suitable is usually the best". The whole article is written in Mandarin unfortunately. So sorry if you can't understand. I see if I can do a translation when I am free. :P
有一个女人，她很漂亮，
她的身边有着数不完的追求者，
可是让他动心的只有两个男人，
一个是又帅又有钱，贴心又温柔的男人，
一个是相貌平平，可却是最懂他的男人...
两个男人同时爱上了她，
女人同时对两个男人有好感，
可偏偏在两个人当中，
她只能选择一个当她的男朋友...
女孩的姐妹们知道她很困惑，
所以纷纷都给了她建议，
最终，女孩选择了那个有钱的帅哥，
可心底，女孩自己也不是很清楚，
自己真正爱的人是他，
还是因为自己被他的条件与温柔所吸引...
就这样，帅哥让女人成为了幸福的女人，
他帅气，有钱，对她更是温柔体贴，
一开始女人以为这就是他想要的幸福了，
但渐渐地，她发现，这并不是她想要的，
男人很好，但男人并不懂她，
男人懂得逗他开心，却看不穿她的伤心，
男人可以给他一切，却不知道他需要的是什么...
在所有人眼中，女人无疑是最幸福的人，
但女人知道，这并不是她想要的幸福，
因为她发现，她最爱的那个人其实不是他，
而是那一个被自己伤透了心的男人...
最终，女孩还是与那个帅气的男人分手了，
原因只有一个，就是我们不适合，
其实会分手，男人心中也有数，
他知道女人并不是真的爱自己，
他们两个是不同世界的人，
勉强凑在了一切，最终还是得分离...
女人分手后，找上了那一个最懂他的男人，她知道，男人还在等她...
男人问女人：
“为什么与他分手呢？他的条件那么好，对你又那么好！”
女孩笑着说：
“你这句话就是答案啦，他爱的是那个漂亮的我，而你爱的却是我，他什么都可以给我，却不知道我要的是什么，而你虽然不能给我什么，但你知道我要的是什么...”
男人却说：
“但到目前为止，他是我遇见过，对你最好的男人，又帅又有钱，对你又好，这样的男人你没理由不要的！”
女人还是笑着说：
“或许他是最好的，但他却不是最适合我的，如果眼前有一件很漂亮却永远都不能穿的衣服，和一件看似平凡，但穿上以后，会让你觉得舒服的衣服，你会选择哪一件呢？”
这一回，男人笑了，他终于明白女人为什么选择他了...
说完，女人握起男人的手对他说：
“经历了那么多才明白，原来最好的不一定是最合适的，最合适的却一定是最好的，再美好的东西，只要不适合自己，最终都会分离的，只有最适合自己的，才能成为最好的...”
有一个女人，她很漂亮，
她的身边有着数不完的追求者，
可是让他动心的只有两个男人，
一个是又帅又有钱，贴心又温柔的男人，
一个是相貌平平，可却是最懂他的男人...
两个男人同时爱上了她，
女人同时对两个男人有好感，
可偏偏在两个人当中，
她只能选择一个当她的男朋友...
女孩的姐妹们知道她很困惑，
所以纷纷都给了她建议，
最终，女孩选择了那个有钱的帅哥，
可心底，女孩自己也不是很清楚，
自己真正爱的人是他，
还是因为自己被他的条件与温柔所吸引...
就这样，帅哥让女人成为了幸福的女人，
他帅气，有钱，对她更是温柔体贴，
一开始女人以为这就是他想要的幸福了，
但渐渐地，她发现，这并不是她想要的，
男人很好，但男人并不懂她，
男人懂得逗他开心，却看不穿她的伤心，
男人可以给他一切，却不知道他需要的是什么...
在所有人眼中，女人无疑是最幸福的人，
但女人知道，这并不是她想要的幸福，
因为她发现，她最爱的那个人其实不是他，
而是那一个被自己伤透了心的男人...
最终，女孩还是与那个帅气的男人分手了，
原因只有一个，就是我们不适合，
其实会分手，男人心中也有数，
他知道女人并不是真的爱自己，
他们两个是不同世界的人，
勉强凑在了一切，最终还是得分离...
女人分手后，找上了那一个最懂他的男人，她知道，男人还在等她...
男人问女人：
“为什么与他分手呢？他的条件那么好，对你又那么好！”
女孩笑着说：
“你这句话就是答案啦，他爱的是那个漂亮的我，而你爱的却是我，他什么都可以给我，却不知道我要的是什么，而你虽然不能给我什么，但你知道我要的是什么...”
男人却说：
“但到目前为止，他是我遇见过，对你最好的男人，又帅又有钱，对你又好，这样的男人你没理由不要的！”
女人还是笑着说：
“或许他是最好的，但他却不是最适合我的，如果眼前有一件很漂亮却永远都不能穿的衣服，和一件看似平凡，但穿上以后，会让你觉得舒服的衣服，你会选择哪一件呢？”
这一回，男人笑了，他终于明白女人为什么选择他了...
说完，女人握起男人的手对他说：
“经历了那么多才明白，原来最好的不一定是最合适的，最合适的却一定是最好的，再美好的东西，只要不适合自己，最终都会分离的，只有最适合自己的，才能成为最好的...”
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
好的肩膀, 好的眼光
It has been long since I last updated my blog. Not that I abandoned it, but just that... It is quite rundown and seldom anyone come to this deserted blog anymore. Anyway, happened to see a "SHOUT" on Clara's Facebook which says "女人不可以嫁错人， 害了自己也害了孩子。" (meaning : Women should not marry the wrong guy, it is bad for herself and her children.
After seeing that comment, I was thinking of replying to her using my favourite quote from 曹启泰 which I heard years back when I happened to be at his book launch. (It was really years back where the location of the now Vivocity is still an exhibition area. It was that old...)
Anyway, I thought that I have it on my blog and so I just scan through all the topics on Love and Relationship but I don't seems to be able to find it. Maybe I never wrote about it or it is somehow embedded in one of those stories. So instead of digging through all my old entries, I feel that I might as well write on this topic just in case I really never enter this before on my blog. I titled this entry, "好的肩膀, 好的眼光" which is what the topic is about. So here goes...
男人要有好的肩膀, 这样才能够担负家庭的重任. 女人要有好的眼光, 这样才能够找到一个可靠的肩膀.
The words summarizes as "A man should have a good shoulder for he needs to shoulder the responsibilities and the hardship of running and support a family. A woman should have a good eyesight to be able to spot such a good shoulder for her to rely on."
I think that there should be also an additional phase to it.
男人可靠的肩膀不可以太软也不可以太硬, 该软的时候软, 该硬的时候硬. 硬是为了承担家庭的重任, 软是为了给女人累或伤心时可以依靠而不会弄疼她,
A (man's) good shoulder should not be too soft or hard. When it is suppose to be hard, it should be hard. When it suppose to be soft, it should be soft. It needs to be hard so that he can shoulder the tremendous tasks of supporting for a family, it needs to be soft so that when the woman is tired and sad, she can rely on his shoulder to rest on yet still feel comforting.
After seeing that comment, I was thinking of replying to her using my favourite quote from 曹启泰 which I heard years back when I happened to be at his book launch. (It was really years back where the location of the now Vivocity is still an exhibition area. It was that old...)
Anyway, I thought that I have it on my blog and so I just scan through all the topics on Love and Relationship but I don't seems to be able to find it. Maybe I never wrote about it or it is somehow embedded in one of those stories. So instead of digging through all my old entries, I feel that I might as well write on this topic just in case I really never enter this before on my blog. I titled this entry, "好的肩膀, 好的眼光" which is what the topic is about. So here goes...
男人要有好的肩膀, 这样才能够担负家庭的重任. 女人要有好的眼光, 这样才能够找到一个可靠的肩膀.
The words summarizes as "A man should have a good shoulder for he needs to shoulder the responsibilities and the hardship of running and support a family. A woman should have a good eyesight to be able to spot such a good shoulder for her to rely on."
I think that there should be also an additional phase to it.
男人可靠的肩膀不可以太软也不可以太硬, 该软的时候软, 该硬的时候硬. 硬是为了承担家庭的重任, 软是为了给女人累或伤心时可以依靠而不会弄疼她,
A (man's) good shoulder should not be too soft or hard. When it is suppose to be hard, it should be hard. When it suppose to be soft, it should be soft. It needs to be hard so that he can shoulder the tremendous tasks of supporting for a family, it needs to be soft so that when the woman is tired and sad, she can rely on his shoulder to rest on yet still feel comforting.
Friday, January 21, 2011
More Love Lessons
It has been quite a while since I last wrote any topics about Love and Relationship. Just got back to start posting in the Relationships subforum in Cozycot again after quite some period of inactive-ness there...
Just thought of capturing those stories in my this long-forgotten and forsaken sanctuary of mine...
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Story of the Hedgehogs in the Winter...
Picture taken from http://watch.thehaymakerssurvey.com/...ove-hedgehogs/
As the weather is cold, the hedgehogs will stay close together for warmth. However, when they got too close to one another, they got pricked by the spines on their bodies and so they moved further apart.
When they are further apart, they cannot use the body heat to keep each other warmth.
The trick is to find the balancing point where the hedgehogs can find the warmth and yet not get prick by the spines on their bodies.
Using the same analogy, you just need to find the balancing point for everything in life including managing your bf.
Why not, try to give him the free time and you find time for your friends also. In this way, your friends won't feel neglected and you give your bf the space he wanted. Remember, friends play an important part in our life, learn to value them.
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The Marriage Vows
Got this from Rovis's Facebook Note which I find really meaningful. So thought of sharing it.
Saw this marriage vow somewhere. I thought it would serve as a GREAT REMINDER for me and those who "happen" to see this note. God bless
To have (consider part of me, see as mine, take responsibility for as myself) and to hold (hug, caress, treat tenderly, protect, enfold) from this day forward (I am entering a new part of life that begins today)
For better (good times, make-up times, new days, wonderful discoveries), for worse (disappointments, misunderstandings, arguments, difficulties, unforeseen challenges);
For richer (not only material wealth but richer experiences in life that we seek to share together, growing into an abundance of God’s presence in our marriage), for poorer (times when we have to depend on the Lord for provision, times when we have to adjust expectations);
In sickness (times of sickness, fatigue, and the stresses of life, when patience is required) and in health (we take care of each other and encourage healthy living);
To love (long for you in every way, serve you, practice growing into oneness with you) and to cherish (to offer tender touch, patient care, seeking to understand and meet needs)
Until we are parted by death (we recognize that these promises aren’t for heaven but for here, as we help each other to know the Lord and anticipate eternal life in his presence);
As God is my witness (I acknowledge that God is listening to me and expects me to take these vows as seriously as anything I have ever said), I give you my promise (I want these words to be the most precious things I could ever give you, and I will live them out for you every day).
Just thought of capturing those stories in my this long-forgotten and forsaken sanctuary of mine...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Story of the Hedgehogs in the Winter...
Picture taken from http://watch.thehaymakerssurvey.com/...ove-hedgehogs/
As the weather is cold, the hedgehogs will stay close together for warmth. However, when they got too close to one another, they got pricked by the spines on their bodies and so they moved further apart.
When they are further apart, they cannot use the body heat to keep each other warmth.
The trick is to find the balancing point where the hedgehogs can find the warmth and yet not get prick by the spines on their bodies.
Using the same analogy, you just need to find the balancing point for everything in life including managing your bf.
Why not, try to give him the free time and you find time for your friends also. In this way, your friends won't feel neglected and you give your bf the space he wanted. Remember, friends play an important part in our life, learn to value them.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Marriage Vows
Got this from Rovis's Facebook Note which I find really meaningful. So thought of sharing it.
Saw this marriage vow somewhere. I thought it would serve as a GREAT REMINDER for me and those who "happen" to see this note. God bless
To have (consider part of me, see as mine, take responsibility for as myself) and to hold (hug, caress, treat tenderly, protect, enfold) from this day forward (I am entering a new part of life that begins today)
For better (good times, make-up times, new days, wonderful discoveries), for worse (disappointments, misunderstandings, arguments, difficulties, unforeseen challenges);
For richer (not only material wealth but richer experiences in life that we seek to share together, growing into an abundance of God’s presence in our marriage), for poorer (times when we have to depend on the Lord for provision, times when we have to adjust expectations);
In sickness (times of sickness, fatigue, and the stresses of life, when patience is required) and in health (we take care of each other and encourage healthy living);
To love (long for you in every way, serve you, practice growing into oneness with you) and to cherish (to offer tender touch, patient care, seeking to understand and meet needs)
Until we are parted by death (we recognize that these promises aren’t for heaven but for here, as we help each other to know the Lord and anticipate eternal life in his presence);
As God is my witness (I acknowledge that God is listening to me and expects me to take these vows as seriously as anything I have ever said), I give you my promise (I want these words to be the most precious things I could ever give you, and I will live them out for you every day).
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Love is just like a Lute
It has been a while since I posted any love story or topic.
Maybe because I consider myself as an idiot and jerk in Love.
Know only how to talk, but can't even practise what I preach.
I am only a keyboard strategist, good with talking and preaching only...
Yah... I blame myself, I hate myself for that...
Sigh...
Anyway, despite all these setbacks and short-comings, good thoughts should always be shared and I hope that I can reflect on it and one day be able to practise what I preach...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love is just like a Lute.
When you over-tighten the string on the lute, it breaks easily.
When you do not tighten it enough, it won't play.
Love is the same.
When you hold on to love too tightly, you break it.
When you don't hold on tight enough, you lose it.
Maybe because I consider myself as an idiot and jerk in Love.
Know only how to talk, but can't even practise what I preach.
I am only a keyboard strategist, good with talking and preaching only...
Yah... I blame myself, I hate myself for that...
Sigh...
Anyway, despite all these setbacks and short-comings, good thoughts should always be shared and I hope that I can reflect on it and one day be able to practise what I preach...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love is just like a Lute.
When you over-tighten the string on the lute, it breaks easily.
When you do not tighten it enough, it won't play.
Love is the same.
When you hold on to love too tightly, you break it.
When you don't hold on tight enough, you lose it.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Make a Difference
Today... I will share a little story with all...
Once there was a lot of starfishes which are left stranded on the beach.
The sun is burning hot and the tide is not coming fast enough and the starfishes are suffering from dehydration…
Then there was a little boy who keeps picking up the starfishes and throwing them back into the sea so that he can save them… But there was just too many on the beach…
Then a man, watches with amuse and walk fro and ask the boy, “What are you doing?”.
The boy answered, “I am trying to save the starfishes from been dried up, so I am picking them up and throwing them back into the sea so that they may live.”
The man laughed, “There are so many starfishes on the beach, you cannot possibly save all of them.”
But the boy look up and show the starfish that he is holding and say, “But it can at least make a difference to this one.”
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In life, we cannot change every thing that has gone wrong to right, nor can we prevent wrong things from happening. However, if each of us play our part and make the difference, even how small the deed, it has make a difference to the one receiving it. Think about it.
Once there was a lot of starfishes which are left stranded on the beach.
The sun is burning hot and the tide is not coming fast enough and the starfishes are suffering from dehydration…
Then there was a little boy who keeps picking up the starfishes and throwing them back into the sea so that he can save them… But there was just too many on the beach…
Then a man, watches with amuse and walk fro and ask the boy, “What are you doing?”.
The boy answered, “I am trying to save the starfishes from been dried up, so I am picking them up and throwing them back into the sea so that they may live.”
The man laughed, “There are so many starfishes on the beach, you cannot possibly save all of them.”
But the boy look up and show the starfish that he is holding and say, “But it can at least make a difference to this one.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In life, we cannot change every thing that has gone wrong to right, nor can we prevent wrong things from happening. However, if each of us play our part and make the difference, even how small the deed, it has make a difference to the one receiving it. Think about it.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Love Oneself
Has been long since I wrote any article to share with all. Wanted to write this article for a long time but never find the time to do it except now. The topic that I want to share about is Loving Oneself. This topic came about when EeHua posted this article on her blog and Ian commented on it. I happened to saw it and added my comments. Now, I will shared out my thoughts on this topic.
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For some, to love is to give wholeheartedly to the one we loved but before we can learn to love others, we must learn to love ourselves. When I said loving oneself, I don't mean to have that selfish mindset of 'Me' or I' attitude or that we should think too highly of ourselves and become arrogant. Some will say that we cannot possibly love oneself but yet still love another. This is true if we are too focus on loving ourselves, taking care of only our own interests and concern with only on how we feel. For this type of love, it is an extreme thinking of loving oneself, in some sense, this become Narcissus aka The Self-Admirer. Hence, how can one even possible love another when he or she is loving himself or heself more.
In the case of loving oneself, it is more of accepting oneself as who he or she is and not trying to be what others wanted them to be. Loving oneself include accepting ones own weakness and strength, appearance and background. In reality, how many of us are able to accept ourselves as who we are? Don't we usually want to be someone else in life, such as to be taller, to be more handsome, to be fairer and etc. There is totally nothing wrong for wanting to be someone else or wanted more of this or less of that to make oneself more beautiful or handsome. But towards the extend of wanting to be another and start hating oneself with what he or she was given, that is not loving oneself.
The Divine has given and bless us with what we have today, how we looks, our environment and surroundings, our background and our passage of life. If we never learn to love ourselves and accepting what is given to us, then we will always live with sadness and depression and anger. Then in this case, how can we even learn to love others and give to the one we loved.
I used to hate myself in the past. With many things in fact, I used to hate the way I look, the way I talk, how life seems so unfair, why am I thinking like this and so on and so fro... but as I slowly learnt, life is never perfect. So I understand the meaning of life is not so much of changing to suit others but learning to accept and understand ourselves better outside and inside and accepting what is given to us. That is to love oneself, then I can learn to love others. ;)
So think it about.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For some, to love is to give wholeheartedly to the one we loved but before we can learn to love others, we must learn to love ourselves. When I said loving oneself, I don't mean to have that selfish mindset of 'Me' or I' attitude or that we should think too highly of ourselves and become arrogant. Some will say that we cannot possibly love oneself but yet still love another. This is true if we are too focus on loving ourselves, taking care of only our own interests and concern with only on how we feel. For this type of love, it is an extreme thinking of loving oneself, in some sense, this become Narcissus aka The Self-Admirer. Hence, how can one even possible love another when he or she is loving himself or heself more.
In the case of loving oneself, it is more of accepting oneself as who he or she is and not trying to be what others wanted them to be. Loving oneself include accepting ones own weakness and strength, appearance and background. In reality, how many of us are able to accept ourselves as who we are? Don't we usually want to be someone else in life, such as to be taller, to be more handsome, to be fairer and etc. There is totally nothing wrong for wanting to be someone else or wanted more of this or less of that to make oneself more beautiful or handsome. But towards the extend of wanting to be another and start hating oneself with what he or she was given, that is not loving oneself.
The Divine has given and bless us with what we have today, how we looks, our environment and surroundings, our background and our passage of life. If we never learn to love ourselves and accepting what is given to us, then we will always live with sadness and depression and anger. Then in this case, how can we even learn to love others and give to the one we loved.
I used to hate myself in the past. With many things in fact, I used to hate the way I look, the way I talk, how life seems so unfair, why am I thinking like this and so on and so fro... but as I slowly learnt, life is never perfect. So I understand the meaning of life is not so much of changing to suit others but learning to accept and understand ourselves better outside and inside and accepting what is given to us. That is to love oneself, then I can learn to love others. ;)
So think it about.
Friday, September 19, 2008
手牵手
手牵手 - 张小娴
男人追求女人，总是千方百计，患得患失牵着她的手，一旦让他捉住了，便不肯放手。
女人喜欢一个男人，也总是希望他主动牵着她的手，这种暗示，胜过千言万语。
在静悄的夜街上，她想他牵着她的手，送她回家，临别依依，拾不得放手。
在繁忙的街上，人潮汹涌，他紧紧地拉着她的手，生怕她会走失。一旦两双手给人群撞开了，她总是焦急地寻觅他的一只大手掌。
在他驾车的时候，我希望他只用一双手控制方向盘，另外一只手和我十指紧扣。
做为男人，应该懂得只用右手驾驶汽车。
跟朋友吃饭的时候，也希望他在桌下牵着我的手。
我们形容一男一女结束情侣关系是“分手”，因此，两个人相爱，无论如何要手牵手。
最舒适的手掌，是大而厚，可以把女人的小手牢包里面，给她安全感。切忌手汗多，弄湿人家的手。也不要太粗糙，软才有温柔感觉。
非常感谢特别的妳，让我牵妳的手。我好向往十指紧扣着妳的手，爱护妳，保护妳，永不放开。
男人追求女人，总是千方百计，患得患失牵着她的手，一旦让他捉住了，便不肯放手。
女人喜欢一个男人，也总是希望他主动牵着她的手，这种暗示，胜过千言万语。
在静悄的夜街上，她想他牵着她的手，送她回家，临别依依，拾不得放手。
在繁忙的街上，人潮汹涌，他紧紧地拉着她的手，生怕她会走失。一旦两双手给人群撞开了，她总是焦急地寻觅他的一只大手掌。
在他驾车的时候，我希望他只用一双手控制方向盘，另外一只手和我十指紧扣。
做为男人，应该懂得只用右手驾驶汽车。
跟朋友吃饭的时候，也希望他在桌下牵着我的手。
我们形容一男一女结束情侣关系是“分手”，因此，两个人相爱，无论如何要手牵手。
最舒适的手掌，是大而厚，可以把女人的小手牢包里面，给她安全感。切忌手汗多，弄湿人家的手。也不要太粗糙，软才有温柔感觉。
非常感谢特别的妳，让我牵妳的手。我好向往十指紧扣着妳的手，爱护妳，保护妳，永不放开。
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
烟花与流星 (Fireworks and Shooting Stars)
Was writing my previous article in Chinese about "Having and Lost" and too many thoughts flow through my mind at the same time. Diverted a bit of my thoughts but I just kept on writing. After reading through the whole article for a few times, I decided to cut a portion of it and start this new thread to continue with a topic which I wanted to talk about.
As stated in my title, I wanted to talk about Fireworks and Shooting Stars and how to relate love to it. I have been wanting to write this article for quite a while since I read on EeHua's and Colin's blog about Fireworks. As I was writing my last article, I suddenly relate all these together. Anyway, here is my article titled "烟花与流星". Enjoy.
烟花与流星
爱情或恋爱有时候就像烟花或像流星那样。
烟花与流星都是美丽，漂亮，灿烂的。
可是它们都是短暂的，它们也不会为人而停留。
我们人所能做的，也只是利用相机之类的东西来捕捉那短暂的灿烂。
世间上的东西都事事无绝对，这也包括爱情。
就算拥有的时光那么短暂，能够无怨无悔地去爱一个人，而为那一个你所爱的人付出，就是幸福。
爱的幸福。
爱情不用像烟花与流星那样灿烂，夺目，燿眼。
最重要的是懂得去珍惜拥有对方的每一分每一秒，这样的爱情也是甜美幸福的。
As stated in my title, I wanted to talk about Fireworks and Shooting Stars and how to relate love to it. I have been wanting to write this article for quite a while since I read on EeHua's and Colin's blog about Fireworks. As I was writing my last article, I suddenly relate all these together. Anyway, here is my article titled "烟花与流星". Enjoy.
烟花与流星
爱情或恋爱有时候就像烟花或像流星那样。
烟花与流星都是美丽，漂亮，灿烂的。
可是它们都是短暂的，它们也不会为人而停留。
我们人所能做的，也只是利用相机之类的东西来捕捉那短暂的灿烂。
世间上的东西都事事无绝对，这也包括爱情。
就算拥有的时光那么短暂，能够无怨无悔地去爱一个人，而为那一个你所爱的人付出，就是幸福。
爱的幸福。
爱情不用像烟花与流星那样灿烂，夺目，燿眼。
最重要的是懂得去珍惜拥有对方的每一分每一秒，这样的爱情也是甜美幸福的。
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
得与失 (Having and Lost)
Was on my way back when I reflected on the previous topic which I type about namely "Courage to Love". Reflecting a little deeper gives me the inspiration to talk about this topic "Having and Lost" or "Gain and Lost" if you wish to put it that way. From a monetary standpoint, "Gain and Lost" will sounds better, from a relationship and love standpoint, I will prefer to use "Having and Lost". But no point for me to write so much which term to use as I will be using Chinese to express my thoughts, so this is the topic I am going to touch on, titled "得与失".
Before I start, just a quote which I learnt from "The Leap Years" which is also related to this topic. "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all. - Samuel Butler"
得与失
上文所提到，面对爱是需要勇气的。
真正面对爱就会面对得与失的问题。
有失必有得。
失去了一段恋情，如果最终还是得回那一段恋情，或得到一段新的恋情，必然是好事。
但是，从多一个角度来看，有得也必有失。人们总是怕得到了一段美好的恋情，而因一时的误会或过错，失去这一份爱。
就是这种想法，人们才会不敢去面对爱。因为人们怕面对失败，心痛与寂寞。
得与失真的那么重要吗?
失去了，终究真的会得到吗?
得到了，终究真的会失去吗?
别因为在得与失的问题上看得太过重而使得你错过爱。
當一份美好的恋情出现在你的面前时，最重要的是勇敢地去爱与付出。
别因为怕会失去而无法用心地去爱别人或爱自己，使得你无法体会到得到爱的美。
也别因为得到了爰而忘了以前你所失去的痛苦。重要的是，了解为什么会失去而别再犯同样的错。
希望大家能够了解我所想表达的。祝大家快乐也希望大家能勇敢地去爱。
Before I start, just a quote which I learnt from "The Leap Years" which is also related to this topic. "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all. - Samuel Butler"
得与失
上文所提到，面对爱是需要勇气的。
真正面对爱就会面对得与失的问题。
有失必有得。
失去了一段恋情，如果最终还是得回那一段恋情，或得到一段新的恋情，必然是好事。
但是，从多一个角度来看，有得也必有失。人们总是怕得到了一段美好的恋情，而因一时的误会或过错，失去这一份爱。
就是这种想法，人们才会不敢去面对爱。因为人们怕面对失败，心痛与寂寞。
得与失真的那么重要吗?
失去了，终究真的会得到吗?
得到了，终究真的会失去吗?
别因为在得与失的问题上看得太过重而使得你错过爱。
當一份美好的恋情出现在你的面前时，最重要的是勇敢地去爱与付出。
别因为怕会失去而无法用心地去爱别人或爱自己，使得你无法体会到得到爱的美。
也别因为得到了爰而忘了以前你所失去的痛苦。重要的是，了解为什么会失去而别再犯同样的错。
希望大家能够了解我所想表达的。祝大家快乐也希望大家能勇敢地去爱。
Monday, September 08, 2008
Courage to Love
Was chatting with EeHua earlier and she told me that she wanted to write an article on Courage to Love. Too bad the hour is rather late for us to talk about this topic as both of us have to work tomorrow, so we never really go into it. Was about to hit my bed and enter dreamland when I decided to come to my keyboard to post my thoughts.
From my perspective, it takes courage to love someone. Courage to overcome fear, courage to overcome all odds, courage to overcome the unknown and most of all, courage to face it all. Some people says, it takes courage to face lonliness but to me, I find that it takes even greater courage to face love.
Is Love that scary? Nope. Is Lonliness scary? Nope, neither. For someone who takes lonliness as a friend and protector, lonliness is never scary. In some sense, lonliness is just a state in the mind, are we really lonely at times, or are we just blind to the presence of the Divine whom is ferrying us through those tough and difficult times? In fact, when you learn and understand lonliness, it is never an enemy, nor is it a foe to be fear but a friend whom you can learn to embrace so that it can help you in tough and difficult time as you might have to face it alone.
Then what about Love, why does Love takes Courage? Some says that love is meant to be free, love meant to be happy. Then, why is it difficult to face love? My reply to this, are we ready to face and accept love when it comes? Love is like sunlight which shines. Imagine that our heart is like a room. When we haven't find love, the room is dark. We cannot see the state of the room, we never knew the condition of the heart. When we find love, it shines like a ray of golden light when peek through the window on the room which lights up our hearts. We can finally see the state of the room. To our dismay, we can see how messy and dusty the room is... Because of this, we choose not to see truth or the condition of the heart, we turn our back on love because we are too ashame to see it. Hence, we can see... it takes real courage to love.
Of course, it also takes courage to face rejection when we confess our love to someone. In fact, we are risking it all when we confess our feelings to that someone. We are putting the friendship, the bond, the happy moment that 2 person shared as friends at stake. Hence, there is much to lose which takes real courage to confess our love. There are people who tends to be more protective towards themselves as they don't want to get hurt. In fact, nobody wants to get hurt, neither do they want to hurt others. For them, they can't lift up the courage to face love. It is not wrong, it is because they love themselves a bit more.
Lastly, Love is a journey of unknown and uncertainty between 2 perfect strangers walking alongside each other. When face with many different situations which may arise, how will the couples react to it? Besides understanding and trust between the couple, it also takes courage to stand by love, stand alongside each other and overcome all odds.
Before I end, I will just like to share a quote which I read from a movie novel titled "摘星" written by Eric Wu aka 吴若权 which I find very meaningful and related to the topic, "Courage to Love".
"世间上，最美好的爱恋，是为一个人付出时的勇敢。即使因此被伤得体无完肤，也无怨无悔。"
So, to my readers, I hope that you all can find the needed courage to face fear, to face lonliness and most of all, have the courage to face love.
From my perspective, it takes courage to love someone. Courage to overcome fear, courage to overcome all odds, courage to overcome the unknown and most of all, courage to face it all. Some people says, it takes courage to face lonliness but to me, I find that it takes even greater courage to face love.
Is Love that scary? Nope. Is Lonliness scary? Nope, neither. For someone who takes lonliness as a friend and protector, lonliness is never scary. In some sense, lonliness is just a state in the mind, are we really lonely at times, or are we just blind to the presence of the Divine whom is ferrying us through those tough and difficult times? In fact, when you learn and understand lonliness, it is never an enemy, nor is it a foe to be fear but a friend whom you can learn to embrace so that it can help you in tough and difficult time as you might have to face it alone.
Then what about Love, why does Love takes Courage? Some says that love is meant to be free, love meant to be happy. Then, why is it difficult to face love? My reply to this, are we ready to face and accept love when it comes? Love is like sunlight which shines. Imagine that our heart is like a room. When we haven't find love, the room is dark. We cannot see the state of the room, we never knew the condition of the heart. When we find love, it shines like a ray of golden light when peek through the window on the room which lights up our hearts. We can finally see the state of the room. To our dismay, we can see how messy and dusty the room is... Because of this, we choose not to see truth or the condition of the heart, we turn our back on love because we are too ashame to see it. Hence, we can see... it takes real courage to love.
Of course, it also takes courage to face rejection when we confess our love to someone. In fact, we are risking it all when we confess our feelings to that someone. We are putting the friendship, the bond, the happy moment that 2 person shared as friends at stake. Hence, there is much to lose which takes real courage to confess our love. There are people who tends to be more protective towards themselves as they don't want to get hurt. In fact, nobody wants to get hurt, neither do they want to hurt others. For them, they can't lift up the courage to face love. It is not wrong, it is because they love themselves a bit more.
Lastly, Love is a journey of unknown and uncertainty between 2 perfect strangers walking alongside each other. When face with many different situations which may arise, how will the couples react to it? Besides understanding and trust between the couple, it also takes courage to stand by love, stand alongside each other and overcome all odds.
Before I end, I will just like to share a quote which I read from a movie novel titled "摘星" written by Eric Wu aka 吴若权 which I find very meaningful and related to the topic, "Courage to Love".
"世间上，最美好的爱恋，是为一个人付出时的勇敢。即使因此被伤得体无完肤，也无怨无悔。"
So, to my readers, I hope that you all can find the needed courage to face fear, to face lonliness and most of all, have the courage to face love.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
情人看表
This is an interesting article written by a writer 张小娴 about the aspect of time in the eyes of a lover. It is written in Chinese, hope that you can understand (except for Ian of course. :P)
情人看表 - 张小娴
爱情的盟约必然要跟时间拉上关系。天长地久、一生不变、永远爱你、地老天荒，总之越长久越好，以比对方的寿命更长为佳。所以情话也离不开时间，其中一句动人的情话是：
「我可以跟你一起而忘记了时间存在。」
爱情足以令任何人失去时间观念。所以当男人追求你时，你迟到两小时，他仍然说：「你只是迟了一会儿。」
一天不见，如隔三秋。
天天见面，仍然觉得时间过得太快。
谈了七小时电话，仍然不觉得累。
餐厅关门了，两个人还依依不舍地说：「时间还早呢。」
本来很忙碌的人，一定可以拿出时间谈恋爱，至于其他事情却没有时间去办。
恋人唯一需要意识时间存在的时刻，是收到对方所送出的手表。约会的时候，则千万不要看表，除非你们买了门票看电影。
可是，情变也由意识时间存在开始。假使有一天，你发现对方跟你约会时竟然偷偷看表，甚至频频看表，表示从前的盟约已经变得很遥远了，他跟你一起，却无法忘记时间存在，他无心听你说话，只想快点离开。
男人看表，比较婉转，他会在台底下偷看。但女人一旦看表，便很决绝，她会在你面前看，表示不耐烦。
情人看表 - 张小娴
爱情的盟约必然要跟时间拉上关系。天长地久、一生不变、永远爱你、地老天荒，总之越长久越好，以比对方的寿命更长为佳。所以情话也离不开时间，其中一句动人的情话是：
「我可以跟你一起而忘记了时间存在。」
爱情足以令任何人失去时间观念。所以当男人追求你时，你迟到两小时，他仍然说：「你只是迟了一会儿。」
一天不见，如隔三秋。
天天见面，仍然觉得时间过得太快。
谈了七小时电话，仍然不觉得累。
餐厅关门了，两个人还依依不舍地说：「时间还早呢。」
本来很忙碌的人，一定可以拿出时间谈恋爱，至于其他事情却没有时间去办。
恋人唯一需要意识时间存在的时刻，是收到对方所送出的手表。约会的时候，则千万不要看表，除非你们买了门票看电影。
可是，情变也由意识时间存在开始。假使有一天，你发现对方跟你约会时竟然偷偷看表，甚至频频看表，表示从前的盟约已经变得很遥远了，他跟你一起，却无法忘记时间存在，他无心听你说话，只想快点离开。
男人看表，比较婉转，他会在台底下偷看。但女人一旦看表，便很决绝，她会在你面前看，表示不耐烦。
Thursday, August 21, 2008
一切都是命安排，算什么。
Was chatting with Vincent on MSN. Something which he shared with me is very interesting and I will like to share with my friends and readers.
"For a relationship or any kind to work, there has to be mutual understanding, trust and faith and many more. To be giving is equally important, but must consider wisely to give the right thing only"
It does set me to think through a lot of things. Things in life happened for a reason. What bring 2 persons together is fate. What bring 2 persons to become couple is choice. What brings a couple to brave through thick and thin is decision.
Some how, things in life are predestined. We cannot avoid what is installed for us. What we can do is to understand why it happened, how it happened. Most of all, since we cannot change the outcome, we shouldn't be tied down by the negativity but instead just accept what is coming.
This is all the miracles in life. Living life to the fullest. Cheerz.
"For a relationship or any kind to work, there has to be mutual understanding, trust and faith and many more. To be giving is equally important, but must consider wisely to give the right thing only"
It does set me to think through a lot of things. Things in life happened for a reason. What bring 2 persons together is fate. What bring 2 persons to become couple is choice. What brings a couple to brave through thick and thin is decision.
Some how, things in life are predestined. We cannot avoid what is installed for us. What we can do is to understand why it happened, how it happened. Most of all, since we cannot change the outcome, we shouldn't be tied down by the negativity but instead just accept what is coming.
This is all the miracles in life. Living life to the fullest. Cheerz.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Different Phases in a Relationship
Have been busy with my work and really no time to get down to blogging. Besides that, I have been giving relationship advice to others in a local forum for those gals in need. It is not that I am a good in love and relationship, if I am good, why am I still single. Hahaha... Well, staying single makes me understand and see things from another perspective. I am very fortunate enough to have a relationship once before, a long one that is. Have been through happy times and sad times. Now, looking at things from a neutral standpoint, I am able to give advice to those in need because I can see more clearly than before.
Anyway, that is besides the point, there is a short article which I share out in that forum and I like to share with my readers on my blog.
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This is a guy's POV of relationship.
In a relationship, the initial phase is known as the honeymoon period. During this period of time, the guy loves the gal more (usually) and will take the initiative to SMS or call the gal first or reply to her SMS promptly. Everything is so sweet and nice.
The next phase is the plateau phase, a very dangerous phase. All the excitment died down, everything falls into a routine. The guy will want to have more time for his own life, start to hang out more with friends, doing his own activities and slow in giving attention to the gal. He will start to call and SMS the gal less. If the guy don't do a reflection and start taking things for granted, then the outcome is disaster. But, if the couples take some time to talk it out, resolve the issue and stop taking each other for grant, renew the relationship and direction, then the relationship have grown to the next stage. It is not only the effort of the guy but also the gal. Make it a balance effort from both parties then it can work out.
If complacent instead of compromise take over the relationship, then it is the last phase. The wearout phase. The guy was so used to be driven in the relationship and the gal on the other hand is the one driving the relationship. All patience are lose, and the guy take the gal's complaint as a nag and will not fall hostage to a gal's tear. He will start avoiding problem, like to leave them as they were and not solve them. Slowly and surely, the distance drift. The outcome is predictable.
Just sharing a view from what I observe, this usually occurs for younger guys because to them, relationship is like going to an international buffet. They don't know what they want in life. When they ordered something, they tasted a bit and see what other have, they wished that they had ordered that. Man/woman are generally greedy. It is just human nature.
Anyway, that is besides the point, there is a short article which I share out in that forum and I like to share with my readers on my blog.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is a guy's POV of relationship.
In a relationship, the initial phase is known as the honeymoon period. During this period of time, the guy loves the gal more (usually) and will take the initiative to SMS or call the gal first or reply to her SMS promptly. Everything is so sweet and nice.
The next phase is the plateau phase, a very dangerous phase. All the excitment died down, everything falls into a routine. The guy will want to have more time for his own life, start to hang out more with friends, doing his own activities and slow in giving attention to the gal. He will start to call and SMS the gal less. If the guy don't do a reflection and start taking things for granted, then the outcome is disaster. But, if the couples take some time to talk it out, resolve the issue and stop taking each other for grant, renew the relationship and direction, then the relationship have grown to the next stage. It is not only the effort of the guy but also the gal. Make it a balance effort from both parties then it can work out.
If complacent instead of compromise take over the relationship, then it is the last phase. The wearout phase. The guy was so used to be driven in the relationship and the gal on the other hand is the one driving the relationship. All patience are lose, and the guy take the gal's complaint as a nag and will not fall hostage to a gal's tear. He will start avoiding problem, like to leave them as they were and not solve them. Slowly and surely, the distance drift. The outcome is predictable.
Just sharing a view from what I observe, this usually occurs for younger guys because to them, relationship is like going to an international buffet. They don't know what they want in life. When they ordered something, they tasted a bit and see what other have, they wished that they had ordered that. Man/woman are generally greedy. It is just human nature.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Marriage & Love
Got this article from a thread in Clubsnap that I like to share with all about Marriage and Love
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It is regarding meaningful and inspirational information on marriage and love. I would like all to read and know for the good of your relationship and marriage.
Here it goes:
1. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love.
2. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage.
3. A Couple should have certain level of chemistry and a sense of humorous
4. Good and stable career so we can put a home together which involved financial committment.
5. Both must share certain level of interest or must put in effort to cultivate new hobbies.
6. Never stop showering each other with praises, attention and acts of love to keep the passion going.
7. There must be a certain level of trust, communication, compromising before start of a new relationship.
8. Find someone who share a common goal in life despite it's either spiritually, buidling a family or earning more money.
9. Find someone who will make you a better person.
10. You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.
11. You have to feel safe with the person means you can communicate openly with the one.
12. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.
13. You should choose to be with a person who is a mensch.
A mensch is a refined and sensitive person. He is always striving to be good and do the right thing.
This person is the opposite of a materialistic person who is dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.
14. The person you want to be with should enjoy giving pleasure to others instead of wrapping up themselves and self-absorbed.
15. You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse. If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.
16. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous.
The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart.
Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.
The more you seek quality, respect,growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you.. The easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
Before you get involved and make a committment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs.
Ask yourself, Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
Note: 2 things can happen in a marriage:
1. You can grow together, or
2. You can grow apart.
Bottom Line; Marry someone who wants the same thing.
Tips on what keeps a relationship strong:
1. Trust
2. Communication
3. Intimacy
4. A Sense of Humour
5. Sharing Tasks
6. Some getaway time without Biz or Kid
7. Daily exchanges(meal, hug, call, touch, notes)
8. Sharing common goals and interests
9. Giving each other space to grow without feelings insecure
10. Giving each other a sense of belonging and assurances of committment.
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It is regarding meaningful and inspirational information on marriage and love. I would like all to read and know for the good of your relationship and marriage.
Here it goes:
1. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love.
2. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage.
3. A Couple should have certain level of chemistry and a sense of humorous
4. Good and stable career so we can put a home together which involved financial committment.
5. Both must share certain level of interest or must put in effort to cultivate new hobbies.
6. Never stop showering each other with praises, attention and acts of love to keep the passion going.
7. There must be a certain level of trust, communication, compromising before start of a new relationship.
8. Find someone who share a common goal in life despite it's either spiritually, buidling a family or earning more money.
9. Find someone who will make you a better person.
10. You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.
11. You have to feel safe with the person means you can communicate openly with the one.
12. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.
13. You should choose to be with a person who is a mensch.
A mensch is a refined and sensitive person. He is always striving to be good and do the right thing.
This person is the opposite of a materialistic person who is dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.
14. The person you want to be with should enjoy giving pleasure to others instead of wrapping up themselves and self-absorbed.
15. You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse. If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.
16. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous.
The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart.
Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.
The more you seek quality, respect,growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you.. The easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
Before you get involved and make a committment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs.
Ask yourself, Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
Note: 2 things can happen in a marriage:
1. You can grow together, or
2. You can grow apart.
Bottom Line; Marry someone who wants the same thing.
Tips on what keeps a relationship strong:
1. Trust
2. Communication
3. Intimacy
4. A Sense of Humour
5. Sharing Tasks
6. Some getaway time without Biz or Kid
7. Daily exchanges(meal, hug, call, touch, notes)
8. Sharing common goals and interests
9. Giving each other space to grow without feelings insecure
10. Giving each other a sense of belonging and assurances of committment.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Random Thoughts about Love
The first step in love is learn to love ourselves. It is different from the "me-only" attitude. What I mean by love ourselves is learning to understand the needs inside each of us, may it be emotional, spiritual and so on. Try to reflect on things and search within ourselves, try listening to that tiny voice that is inside us. In this way, we understand what we want, what we look for, strength and weakness and so on. It is by loving ourselves then we can learn to love others and see the one worthy of our love.
Remember, love is a 2-way traffic, there is a give, there is a take and balance is the key. It is true that we cannot use a measuring scale or ruler to gauge love because love in its greatness is immeasurable but we can always feel love, that is the miracle of the human heart.
Love is not a competition about who is putting in more to the relationship, it is not about out-doing the other half, neither is it about the more we put in, the more we will get in return. It is true that we shouldn't expect love in return when we give it to another person, but when that person does give back, he understand the true value of love and then the love cycle can begin.
When the "scale of love" becomes imbalance, it will lead to expectation and unhappiness. When we start to put in too much love to a relationship, the other party might take our love for granted. We will feel tired and drained after putting in so much… When they do give the love back, we feel rewarded regardless of the amount that they put in and that keep us going on without realizing that the pitfall of a vicious cycle and that other party is moving further and further away from us. As we love the other party more, we love ourselves lesser. At the end of the road, when we look back, we will then realize how much that we had changed our principles just to suit a person that will not share the love journey with us.
Couples should all put in effort to keep a relationship going because it takes two hands to clap, one hand become a slap. The hands are meant for holding, not a arm-wrestling. Grip too tightly, we hurt the other party, grab to loosely, we will lose it. Just keep the hands warmth and comfortable for that will be the hand that we will be holding till death do us apart…
Remember, love is a 2-way traffic, there is a give, there is a take and balance is the key. It is true that we cannot use a measuring scale or ruler to gauge love because love in its greatness is immeasurable but we can always feel love, that is the miracle of the human heart.
Love is not a competition about who is putting in more to the relationship, it is not about out-doing the other half, neither is it about the more we put in, the more we will get in return. It is true that we shouldn't expect love in return when we give it to another person, but when that person does give back, he understand the true value of love and then the love cycle can begin.
When the "scale of love" becomes imbalance, it will lead to expectation and unhappiness. When we start to put in too much love to a relationship, the other party might take our love for granted. We will feel tired and drained after putting in so much… When they do give the love back, we feel rewarded regardless of the amount that they put in and that keep us going on without realizing that the pitfall of a vicious cycle and that other party is moving further and further away from us. As we love the other party more, we love ourselves lesser. At the end of the road, when we look back, we will then realize how much that we had changed our principles just to suit a person that will not share the love journey with us.
Couples should all put in effort to keep a relationship going because it takes two hands to clap, one hand become a slap. The hands are meant for holding, not a arm-wrestling. Grip too tightly, we hurt the other party, grab to loosely, we will lose it. Just keep the hands warmth and comfortable for that will be the hand that we will be holding till death do us apart…
Thursday, April 24, 2008
10 tips for Maintaining a Happy Marriage
Got this interesting article about Love and Marriages to share with all. Enjoy.
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Find out how you can strengthen and grow your love
1. To Disagree Lovingly
This means being focused, fair and objective when putting across your points. Use an even and non-accusatory tone. Avoid personal attacks and finger-pointing-instead, channel your negative energy to constructive problem-solving
2. Define Your Roles and Responsibilities Early On
Prioritise your tasks based on your needs and abilities. The person who can get the job done more efficiently should take on the task. Be fair and don’t ‘overload’ one spouse.
3. Think the Best of Your Partner
A healthy dose of give-and-take can go a long way in avoiding petty arguments. Trust your partner – have faith that he/she has only the best intentions, and will make the right decisions.
4. Be Aware of Gender Differences
Couples need to acknowledge that they are designed and programmed to play different but complementary roles. Acknowledging the differences and accepting them instead of trying to change each other is core to a happy marriage
5. Open a ‘Relationship’ Bank Account
Ms. Sarah Litvinoff, author of “The Relate Guide to Better Relationships” likens a relationship to a bank account. When things are well between two people, their ‘account’ grows with regular love ‘deposits’. When things deteriorate, they will be ‘drawing’ on the good feelings in their shared account. Once it is emptied, the relationship is in serious trouble.
6. Schedule Exclusive ‘You and Me’ Time
Husband-and-Wife personal time can be 15 minutes after dinner on a daily basis, complemented by a date night every month, and a longer weekend getaway every half a year. You may even plan an annual retreat by checking into a local hotel, minus the kids.
7. Take an Interest in Your Partner’s Emotional Well Being
Most physical ailments are indicators of unresolved emotional issues. Couples must take active interest in each other’s emotional health to fortify the physical well-being and enhance the marriage.
8. Know Yourself Better
If you know what makes you happy, and can communicate this to your spouse, it gives him/her the opportunity to accept and support you for who you really are, and love you for yourself.
9. Count to 10 Before You Lash Out in Anger
Very often, it is not what you say that will make your partner angry – it is how you say it. Whenever you feel challenged in a situation, step back and count to 10 before continuing the argument. This gives you time to compose yourself and think things through.
10. Don’t Go to Bed Angry with Each Other
Anger and ill-feeling have a way of festering over time. It’s always advisable to sort out any differences as soon as both parties have cooled down, and are ready to proceed to the discussion and problem-solving stage.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Find out how you can strengthen and grow your love
1. To Disagree Lovingly
This means being focused, fair and objective when putting across your points. Use an even and non-accusatory tone. Avoid personal attacks and finger-pointing-instead, channel your negative energy to constructive problem-solving
2. Define Your Roles and Responsibilities Early On
Prioritise your tasks based on your needs and abilities. The person who can get the job done more efficiently should take on the task. Be fair and don’t ‘overload’ one spouse.
3. Think the Best of Your Partner
A healthy dose of give-and-take can go a long way in avoiding petty arguments. Trust your partner – have faith that he/she has only the best intentions, and will make the right decisions.
4. Be Aware of Gender Differences
Couples need to acknowledge that they are designed and programmed to play different but complementary roles. Acknowledging the differences and accepting them instead of trying to change each other is core to a happy marriage
5. Open a ‘Relationship’ Bank Account
Ms. Sarah Litvinoff, author of “The Relate Guide to Better Relationships” likens a relationship to a bank account. When things are well between two people, their ‘account’ grows with regular love ‘deposits’. When things deteriorate, they will be ‘drawing’ on the good feelings in their shared account. Once it is emptied, the relationship is in serious trouble.
6. Schedule Exclusive ‘You and Me’ Time
Husband-and-Wife personal time can be 15 minutes after dinner on a daily basis, complemented by a date night every month, and a longer weekend getaway every half a year. You may even plan an annual retreat by checking into a local hotel, minus the kids.
7. Take an Interest in Your Partner’s Emotional Well Being
Most physical ailments are indicators of unresolved emotional issues. Couples must take active interest in each other’s emotional health to fortify the physical well-being and enhance the marriage.
8. Know Yourself Better
If you know what makes you happy, and can communicate this to your spouse, it gives him/her the opportunity to accept and support you for who you really are, and love you for yourself.
9. Count to 10 Before You Lash Out in Anger
Very often, it is not what you say that will make your partner angry – it is how you say it. Whenever you feel challenged in a situation, step back and count to 10 before continuing the argument. This gives you time to compose yourself and think things through.
10. Don’t Go to Bed Angry with Each Other
Anger and ill-feeling have a way of festering over time. It’s always advisable to sort out any differences as soon as both parties have cooled down, and are ready to proceed to the discussion and problem-solving stage.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Love More, Love Less, Love Each Other Equally
Wow... Took me a long time to complete this whole article as I have been quite busy and have to really take time and thoughts to make this interesting.
I remembered that I posted in my last Love and Relationship article that I wanted to share with all a topic which talks about one party who is in a relationship putting in a lot of effort to make things work out but still got nothing in the end. This is usually the case when one party (assume gal) love the other party (asuume guy) more but the other party (Guy) don't love back that party (Gal) the same amount.
This is a very common fallacy in a relationship, so common that I witness it with my own eyes (I was not the person involved). Not only once but quite a few cases. Did I ever experience it before in my past relationship? Yes, at some stages I will put in a lot of effort, at other times, my other half will put in a lot effort. But some how things are just not meant to be I guess. No point for me to dwell on this anyway. Back to the topic then which I titled "Love More, Love Less, Love Each Other Equally"
I remembered that this thought actually came from one of my close uni-friend who is a lady which I don't think I want to name her as she was one of the few cases that I ever witness.
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In a relationship, how much should we love our partner?
Should we love the other party more than they loved us or should we love them less than they love us or should we love them as much as they love us?
Should our partner to love us more than we love them or should they to love us less than as we love them or should they love us as much as we love them?
There are mainly 3 cases which I will like relate them to real life cases that I can recall.
Gal Love Guy More
This is a very typical case that I always witness. In a relationship, when the gal loves the guy more, she will put in a lot of effort to make things work out. She will try to compromise and put up with the nonsense that the guy has. However, the guy does not love the gal back equally. Sometime, he will try to compromise some of the things with the gal, some time he will treat her very well, once a while buy her favourite things and so on. It do appear that the guy do love the gal. Yes, the guy does love the gal, but he loves himself more than he loves her. He tends put his own best interest at heart when it comes to decision-making, not the interest of the gal or the interest of the relationship. It do appear like the guy has his own set of principles, has his way of doing things, he is someone who lived for the moment and don’t believe in long term planning and commitment. But some how, this type of character is more attractive to gals (or it seems to appear like this).
The gal on the other hand, tried her best to accept the flaws of the guy; she will try to be the driver of the relationship. She will voice out about her unhappiness when the relationship hit a problem and hope that the guy can compromise. For some of the things, the guy will try to compromise, but some time, he will reply it with a rebutt which the gal has to accept, if not, he will walk out kind-of-attitude. Been the party who loves the other party more, she will try to accept that rebutt and try to change her view and look at it from the guy's perspective and hope that somehow the thing will never happen again. Sometime, some of the compromises as proposed by the guy could means to go against her principle, as someone who has fallen head over heel; she will give reasons to blind herself to accept it.
As the underlying problems were never solved, it always come back to plague the relationship, each time she compromises, that ill feeling just seems to eat her inside out. But still, she work very hard for this relationship, she tried to be more understanding, she tried this and that, she tried to accept the reason given by the guy and give herself reasons for the misunderstanding and unhappiness. All these because… she loved him more than he loved her and she believed that someday, somehow, the guy will start to see the amount she put in to the relationship and be moved and start to love her back equally or more.
This vicious cycle will just continue until either the gal is totally exhausted or that the guy found a new target… Sad to say… that someday that the gal wished for might never happen for the guy take the extra love and care and effort that she put in to the relationship as granted.
Gal Love Guy Less
Now, in this situation, the table has turn and the role of the driver of the relationship has changed. Instead of the gal been the driver, it is the guy. The guy loved the gal a lot but the gal loved the guy less. Typical fallacy for those nice and good-tempered guys.
The guy treated the gal very nice and she starts out a relationship with him. In the initial stage of the relationship, the gal was moved by the sincerity of the guy and venture into the relationship, both loved each other equally. As days goes by, the love of the guy grows faster than that of the gal and the gal instead of loving the guy back equally. She starts to love herself more and start to change. From what was once warm and cute relationship has now become cold and boring relationship as the gal starts to love the guy less. The guy senses the change in the relationship, will put in a lot more into an endless pit of no-return. He will try hard to rekindle the relationship, try buying expensive gifts and so on. The gal looks more into herself and her personal life is putting lesser and lesser into the relationship.
Even if the gal is has not changed and has been putting in the same amount of love and effort since the start of the relationship, there is still a different as like I mentioned because the love and effort that the guy put in was a lot as he always wanted to treat the gal very nice, never wanted her to be hurt, never wanted her to suffer. In some way, he was overly nice and tends to put in a lot. He is anxious to be the driver of the relationship and drives it too fast.
The guy will try to put up with the temper of the gal and try to make her happy when she is sad. He projects the image of a very nice guy which gals usually won’t take note of when having fun but comes to mind when the gals got no one to turn to and in need of help. Maybe because of this characteristic that the gal loves the guy less as it seems like the guy has no distinct character, no style and not a risk-taker, not a “bad-boy” or exciting character.
When the gal love the guy less, she seems harder to please, no amount of effort from the guy is ever enough. He seems to be doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. And for the guy, he tries very hard to please her, but somehow, it does seem like going no where.
The ending is rather predictable, the gal is totally bored with the guy and left for someone new or the guy just felt terrible about the end pit that he has been putting and decided to call it quit. All these because the gal takes the guy’s care and effort that he contribute in the relationship as granted and maybe demand more. Maybe she is too caught up with herself to love him back the same amount.
Couple who Love Each Other Equally
This is the ideal case for couplehood. Both party put in the same amount of love and effort. We must understand that in a relationship, love must grow over time and at the same pace. When the love from one party seems to grow faster than the other party, issue will occur, expectation will grows and then starting to take each other for granted.
Always remember, when we love the other person, don’t expect the other person to love back. For if the other person understands and is able to see and appreciate the amount of love and effort that we put in, they will put in the same amount of effort and love. And when they start to love us more, love them back the same amount or love them even more. When the love and effort which is put in to the relationship reciprocate, then can the relationship progress. Such people who can appreciate the love that we put in are then truly worthy of our love.
Some time, in the relationship, couples might experience all the 3 cases that I mentioned. But as long as both parties take the effort to realign the relationship back on course and avoid the fallacy, strike a balance in the amount of love and effort to put in, things will still work out for a happy ending. Learning the basic understanding of love for each other, respect for each other and most of all, know that love is not selfish, it is not demanding and it is never meant to be kept for oneself. Love is not only about giving. It is true that in love, we should give selflessly, but remember, give to someone who is truly worthy, that is what makes a difference. Lastly, Love is not about one person or the other person, it is about couple and their surroundings, that on the whole, makes a relationship complete.
So, think about it. Are you the driver of the relationship or are you the one that is driven? Wouldn’t it be better if some time, you be the driver and some time, you be the driven. Balance is the key. Cheerz.
I remembered that I posted in my last Love and Relationship article that I wanted to share with all a topic which talks about one party who is in a relationship putting in a lot of effort to make things work out but still got nothing in the end. This is usually the case when one party (assume gal) love the other party (asuume guy) more but the other party (Guy) don't love back that party (Gal) the same amount.
This is a very common fallacy in a relationship, so common that I witness it with my own eyes (I was not the person involved). Not only once but quite a few cases. Did I ever experience it before in my past relationship? Yes, at some stages I will put in a lot of effort, at other times, my other half will put in a lot effort. But some how things are just not meant to be I guess. No point for me to dwell on this anyway. Back to the topic then which I titled "Love More, Love Less, Love Each Other Equally"
I remembered that this thought actually came from one of my close uni-friend who is a lady which I don't think I want to name her as she was one of the few cases that I ever witness.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a relationship, how much should we love our partner?
Should we love the other party more than they loved us or should we love them less than they love us or should we love them as much as they love us?
Should our partner to love us more than we love them or should they to love us less than as we love them or should they love us as much as we love them?
There are mainly 3 cases which I will like relate them to real life cases that I can recall.
Gal Love Guy More
This is a very typical case that I always witness. In a relationship, when the gal loves the guy more, she will put in a lot of effort to make things work out. She will try to compromise and put up with the nonsense that the guy has. However, the guy does not love the gal back equally. Sometime, he will try to compromise some of the things with the gal, some time he will treat her very well, once a while buy her favourite things and so on. It do appear that the guy do love the gal. Yes, the guy does love the gal, but he loves himself more than he loves her. He tends put his own best interest at heart when it comes to decision-making, not the interest of the gal or the interest of the relationship. It do appear like the guy has his own set of principles, has his way of doing things, he is someone who lived for the moment and don’t believe in long term planning and commitment. But some how, this type of character is more attractive to gals (or it seems to appear like this).
The gal on the other hand, tried her best to accept the flaws of the guy; she will try to be the driver of the relationship. She will voice out about her unhappiness when the relationship hit a problem and hope that the guy can compromise. For some of the things, the guy will try to compromise, but some time, he will reply it with a rebutt which the gal has to accept, if not, he will walk out kind-of-attitude. Been the party who loves the other party more, she will try to accept that rebutt and try to change her view and look at it from the guy's perspective and hope that somehow the thing will never happen again. Sometime, some of the compromises as proposed by the guy could means to go against her principle, as someone who has fallen head over heel; she will give reasons to blind herself to accept it.
As the underlying problems were never solved, it always come back to plague the relationship, each time she compromises, that ill feeling just seems to eat her inside out. But still, she work very hard for this relationship, she tried to be more understanding, she tried this and that, she tried to accept the reason given by the guy and give herself reasons for the misunderstanding and unhappiness. All these because… she loved him more than he loved her and she believed that someday, somehow, the guy will start to see the amount she put in to the relationship and be moved and start to love her back equally or more.
This vicious cycle will just continue until either the gal is totally exhausted or that the guy found a new target… Sad to say… that someday that the gal wished for might never happen for the guy take the extra love and care and effort that she put in to the relationship as granted.
Gal Love Guy Less
Now, in this situation, the table has turn and the role of the driver of the relationship has changed. Instead of the gal been the driver, it is the guy. The guy loved the gal a lot but the gal loved the guy less. Typical fallacy for those nice and good-tempered guys.
The guy treated the gal very nice and she starts out a relationship with him. In the initial stage of the relationship, the gal was moved by the sincerity of the guy and venture into the relationship, both loved each other equally. As days goes by, the love of the guy grows faster than that of the gal and the gal instead of loving the guy back equally. She starts to love herself more and start to change. From what was once warm and cute relationship has now become cold and boring relationship as the gal starts to love the guy less. The guy senses the change in the relationship, will put in a lot more into an endless pit of no-return. He will try hard to rekindle the relationship, try buying expensive gifts and so on. The gal looks more into herself and her personal life is putting lesser and lesser into the relationship.
Even if the gal is has not changed and has been putting in the same amount of love and effort since the start of the relationship, there is still a different as like I mentioned because the love and effort that the guy put in was a lot as he always wanted to treat the gal very nice, never wanted her to be hurt, never wanted her to suffer. In some way, he was overly nice and tends to put in a lot. He is anxious to be the driver of the relationship and drives it too fast.
The guy will try to put up with the temper of the gal and try to make her happy when she is sad. He projects the image of a very nice guy which gals usually won’t take note of when having fun but comes to mind when the gals got no one to turn to and in need of help. Maybe because of this characteristic that the gal loves the guy less as it seems like the guy has no distinct character, no style and not a risk-taker, not a “bad-boy” or exciting character.
When the gal love the guy less, she seems harder to please, no amount of effort from the guy is ever enough. He seems to be doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. And for the guy, he tries very hard to please her, but somehow, it does seem like going no where.
The ending is rather predictable, the gal is totally bored with the guy and left for someone new or the guy just felt terrible about the end pit that he has been putting and decided to call it quit. All these because the gal takes the guy’s care and effort that he contribute in the relationship as granted and maybe demand more. Maybe she is too caught up with herself to love him back the same amount.
Couple who Love Each Other Equally
This is the ideal case for couplehood. Both party put in the same amount of love and effort. We must understand that in a relationship, love must grow over time and at the same pace. When the love from one party seems to grow faster than the other party, issue will occur, expectation will grows and then starting to take each other for granted.
Always remember, when we love the other person, don’t expect the other person to love back. For if the other person understands and is able to see and appreciate the amount of love and effort that we put in, they will put in the same amount of effort and love. And when they start to love us more, love them back the same amount or love them even more. When the love and effort which is put in to the relationship reciprocate, then can the relationship progress. Such people who can appreciate the love that we put in are then truly worthy of our love.
Some time, in the relationship, couples might experience all the 3 cases that I mentioned. But as long as both parties take the effort to realign the relationship back on course and avoid the fallacy, strike a balance in the amount of love and effort to put in, things will still work out for a happy ending. Learning the basic understanding of love for each other, respect for each other and most of all, know that love is not selfish, it is not demanding and it is never meant to be kept for oneself. Love is not only about giving. It is true that in love, we should give selflessly, but remember, give to someone who is truly worthy, that is what makes a difference. Lastly, Love is not about one person or the other person, it is about couple and their surroundings, that on the whole, makes a relationship complete.
So, think about it. Are you the driver of the relationship or are you the one that is driven? Wouldn’t it be better if some time, you be the driver and some time, you be the driven. Balance is the key. Cheerz.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Falling in Love and Getting into a Relationship
Nope, not talking about me definitely. Just to share out my thoughts on the topic of Love and Relationship again. It has been a while since I last wrote anything on it. Wanted to write this article for quite some time but just never take the time to really sit down and think about it.
To some, Falling in Love and Getting into a Relationship means the same thing, it means finding that special someone and spending your life with that person you loved. However, if you really think about it, there is a difference between these two expressions.
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When people fall in love, it usually happened quite unexpectedly, that is why the expression fall was used. People fall head over heels for that special someone, realize how the word “fall” was used in this expression too.
A fall is never expected nor planned (no one plans to fall), that is why when we saw someone out of the blue or when we happened to notice someone that catches our attention and the next moment before we know it, we had a crush on or liking for that person, we used the expression “Fall in Love”. It is more like infatuation and usually happened when we were much younger where we don’t really consider much.
Some time, people fall in love quickly but also fall out of love quickly too. It is because like I mentioned, it was never planned or expected. When that feeling of infatuation dead down, when all the excitement and passion is gone, when each party starts to see each other as who they are, expectation starts to set in, then they realize that they were not meant for each other. But some time, one party might had put in a lot of effort to make things to work out but some how, it was just not meant to last. (I will share more about this next time because I remember a very meaningful story about this.)
As we grow and matured, our thinking changes, so do our perspectives on love and relationship. Instead of falling in love or falling head over heel at first sight (love at first sight), people start to look before committing into a relationship. Usually, when someone caught our eye, we will want to get to know the person more in-depth to know if we are compatible. After getting to know each other better as mutual friend, we may decide if that person is someone whom we want to spend our lifetime with and grow old together. Having that in mind, we will have to plan and take some factors into consideration before asking each other to commit to a relationship. People at this stage get into a relationship when they are more ready in terms of thinking and commitment.
The level of thinking is more mature because people get into relationship when they are more ready and when they find that someone that they can connect to. They look long term and plan together so as to make the relationship last.
Does this always means that people who fall in love will always fall out of love also? Well, this is not always the case as there are people who fall in love and had a long lasting relationship. This is because they mature with the relationship and let the love grows over time. Their level of understanding and commitment for each other increase as both are willing to put in the effort and work things out. And as they grow older, they start to look more into long term planning and starting a family. After falling in love, both parties get each other ready for long term commitment, that is the way to a long lasting relationship. It is not only about compromise, commitment, communication or compatibility. It is putting each other best interests in the heart and looking long term because Love is never about individual thoughts who think about ourselves, love is free and never selfish. Love is about each other.
So think about it, do you want to fall into love or get into a relationship?
To some, Falling in Love and Getting into a Relationship means the same thing, it means finding that special someone and spending your life with that person you loved. However, if you really think about it, there is a difference between these two expressions.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When people fall in love, it usually happened quite unexpectedly, that is why the expression fall was used. People fall head over heels for that special someone, realize how the word “fall” was used in this expression too.
A fall is never expected nor planned (no one plans to fall), that is why when we saw someone out of the blue or when we happened to notice someone that catches our attention and the next moment before we know it, we had a crush on or liking for that person, we used the expression “Fall in Love”. It is more like infatuation and usually happened when we were much younger where we don’t really consider much.
Some time, people fall in love quickly but also fall out of love quickly too. It is because like I mentioned, it was never planned or expected. When that feeling of infatuation dead down, when all the excitement and passion is gone, when each party starts to see each other as who they are, expectation starts to set in, then they realize that they were not meant for each other. But some time, one party might had put in a lot of effort to make things to work out but some how, it was just not meant to last. (I will share more about this next time because I remember a very meaningful story about this.)
As we grow and matured, our thinking changes, so do our perspectives on love and relationship. Instead of falling in love or falling head over heel at first sight (love at first sight), people start to look before committing into a relationship. Usually, when someone caught our eye, we will want to get to know the person more in-depth to know if we are compatible. After getting to know each other better as mutual friend, we may decide if that person is someone whom we want to spend our lifetime with and grow old together. Having that in mind, we will have to plan and take some factors into consideration before asking each other to commit to a relationship. People at this stage get into a relationship when they are more ready in terms of thinking and commitment.
The level of thinking is more mature because people get into relationship when they are more ready and when they find that someone that they can connect to. They look long term and plan together so as to make the relationship last.
Does this always means that people who fall in love will always fall out of love also? Well, this is not always the case as there are people who fall in love and had a long lasting relationship. This is because they mature with the relationship and let the love grows over time. Their level of understanding and commitment for each other increase as both are willing to put in the effort and work things out. And as they grow older, they start to look more into long term planning and starting a family. After falling in love, both parties get each other ready for long term commitment, that is the way to a long lasting relationship. It is not only about compromise, commitment, communication or compatibility. It is putting each other best interests in the heart and looking long term because Love is never about individual thoughts who think about ourselves, love is free and never selfish. Love is about each other.
So think about it, do you want to fall into love or get into a relationship?
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Love of a Lifetime
It has been quite a while since I last posted anything on Love and Relationship. Back to my email stash again and happened to dig up something very similar to an entry that I posted earlier titled "Love and Marriage". Huirong also posted a similar story too under the entry of "Love and Relationship".
The moral of behind the stories are the same, we must understand that the sand of time waits for no one. The second that has just passed can never be bought back even if you give up all the riches of the world. Life is not like a video whereby you can rewind, it is not a game where you can restart a mission that you got difficulty.
We only live once, and we can never get back what we missed. So learn to treasure what we have presently.
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Once upon a time there was a teacher and his student lay down under the big tree near the big grass area. Then suddenly the student asked the teacher,
Student : Teacher, I'm confused how we find our soul mate. Can you please help me?
Teacher : "Silent for few second, than he answer" Well, it's pretty hard and easy question..
Student : "THINK HARD" Ha???
Teacher : Look on that way, there are a lot of grass there, why don't you walk there but please never walk backward, just walk straight ahead. On your way, try to find a beautiful grass and pick it up then give it to me. But just one.
Student : Well, ok then... wait for me... "Walk straight ahead to the grass field"
A few minutes later...
Student : I'm back..
Teacher : Em, well I don't see any beautiful grass on your hand.
Student : On my journey, I found few beautiful grass, but I thought that I would find a better one, so I didn't pick it up. But I didn't realize that I'm in the end of the field, and I hadn't pick any. Cause you told me not to go back, so I didn't go back.
Teacher : That's what happened in real life.
What is the message of this story?
* Grass --> is people around you
* Beautiful Grass --> is people that attract you
* Grass Field --> is time
In looking for your soul mate, please don't always compare and hope that there will be a better one. By doing that, you'll waste your lifetime, cause remember "Time Never Goes Back".... So try to accept what he/she is.
The moral of behind the stories are the same, we must understand that the sand of time waits for no one. The second that has just passed can never be bought back even if you give up all the riches of the world. Life is not like a video whereby you can rewind, it is not a game where you can restart a mission that you got difficulty.
We only live once, and we can never get back what we missed. So learn to treasure what we have presently.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once upon a time there was a teacher and his student lay down under the big tree near the big grass area. Then suddenly the student asked the teacher,
Student : Teacher, I'm confused how we find our soul mate. Can you please help me?
Teacher : "Silent for few second, than he answer" Well, it's pretty hard and easy question..
Student : "THINK HARD" Ha???
Teacher : Look on that way, there are a lot of grass there, why don't you walk there but please never walk backward, just walk straight ahead. On your way, try to find a beautiful grass and pick it up then give it to me. But just one.
Student : Well, ok then... wait for me... "Walk straight ahead to the grass field"
A few minutes later...
Student : I'm back..
Teacher : Em, well I don't see any beautiful grass on your hand.
Student : On my journey, I found few beautiful grass, but I thought that I would find a better one, so I didn't pick it up. But I didn't realize that I'm in the end of the field, and I hadn't pick any. Cause you told me not to go back, so I didn't go back.
Teacher : That's what happened in real life.
What is the message of this story?
* Grass --> is people around you
* Beautiful Grass --> is people that attract you
* Grass Field --> is time
In looking for your soul mate, please don't always compare and hope that there will be a better one. By doing that, you'll waste your lifetime, cause remember "Time Never Goes Back".... So try to accept what he/she is.
