10 tips for Maintaining a Happy Marriage

Got this interesting article about Love and Marriages to share with all. Enjoy.

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Find out how you can strengthen and grow your love

1. To Disagree Lovingly

This means being focused, fair and objective when putting across your points. Use an even and non-accusatory tone. Avoid personal attacks and finger-pointing-instead, channel your negative energy to constructive problem-solving

2. Define Your Roles and Responsibilities Early On

Prioritise your tasks based on your needs and abilities. The person who can get the job done more efficiently should take on the task. Be fair and don’t ‘overload’ one spouse.

3. Think the Best of Your Partner

A healthy dose of give-and-take can go a long way in avoiding petty arguments. Trust your partner – have faith that he/she has only the best intentions, and will make the right decisions.

4. Be Aware of Gender Differences

Couples need to acknowledge that they are designed and programmed to play different but complementary roles. Acknowledging the differences and accepting them instead of trying to change each other is core to a happy marriage

5. Open a ‘Relationship’ Bank Account

Ms. Sarah Litvinoff, author of “The Relate Guide to Better Relationships” likens a relationship to a bank account. When things are well between two people, their ‘account’ grows with regular love ‘deposits’. When things deteriorate, they will be ‘drawing’ on the good feelings in their shared account. Once it is emptied, the relationship is in serious trouble.

6. Schedule Exclusive ‘You and Me’ Time

Husband-and-Wife personal time can be 15 minutes after dinner on a daily basis, complemented by a date night every month, and a longer weekend getaway every half a year. You may even plan an annual retreat by checking into a local hotel, minus the kids.

7. Take an Interest in Your Partner’s Emotional Well Being

Most physical ailments are indicators of unresolved emotional issues. Couples must take active interest in each other’s emotional health to fortify the physical well-being and enhance the marriage.

8. Know Yourself Better

If you know what makes you happy, and can communicate this to your spouse, it gives him/her the opportunity to accept and support you for who you really are, and love you for yourself.

9. Count to 10 Before You Lash Out in Anger

Very often, it is not what you say that will make your partner angry – it is how you say it. Whenever you feel challenged in a situation, step back and count to 10 before continuing the argument. This gives you time to compose yourself and think things through.

10. Don’t Go to Bed Angry with Each Other

Anger and ill-feeling have a way of festering over time. It’s always advisable to sort out any differences as soon as both parties have cooled down, and are ready to proceed to the discussion and problem-solving stage.