A Slice Of Life - Self Pity

Got this email article from Karen which I find very interesting and will like to share with my readers.

Self Pity

When we run into problems in life, one of the main determinants of whether we can overcome them is whether we can rise above self-pity, whether we can stop feeling sorry for ourselves and continue working towards our goals with what we still have.

It could be in the aftermath of a failed relationship, after losing all your capital in a botched business venture, the inability to hold down a job, after being diagnosed with an illness or after a crippling mishap.

During these times, you might feel you have the right to feel sorry for yourself. Remember that famous song lyric "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to"? Well, even if you do have the right to feel sorry for yourself, it doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

The thing about self-pity is that it makes you believe that you are the victim, and so can't help being and feeling abused. It encourages you to remain in a miserable state, "just so everyone is clear about who's hurting here". It places blame on other people and circumstances, so you can conveniently sit around and do nothing.

Most of linger in self-pity because it can get so comfortable? while in its throes, you imagine that the one who hurt you is feeling bad about your condition, that by showing just how miserable you've become is a kind of punishment to that person. You feel that by remaining incapacitated, you're demonstrating just how helpless you were to prevent this from happening and just how helpless you still are to make things better. It exaggerates the role of the aggravator and discharges you from the responsibility to improve your own life. Besides, when you throw a pity party, chances are there'll be plenty of well-meaning friends and relatives who will come around and cry along with you and nod in agreement when you tell them how hard your life is. In short, self-pity is extremely addictive.

So how can you wrest yourself from its powerful arms? Well, first, get your friends and relatives to stop feeling sorry for you. Tell them it's really not helping. Avoid people who, despite this, still feel they should be your brooding buddies. Then, break your chain of self-pitying thoughts by shifting your focus to something else. Immerse yourself in new experiences! Read inspiring literature, look for fresh perspectives. And resolutely look towards tomorrow. It can be hard to see, but there is a better future for you. Yesterday is gone, but tomorrow holds endless possibilities.

A Slice of Life is written, produced and presented by Eugene Loh unless otherwise stated. If you wish to share the scripts with others, please credit it to 'Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio'.