Looking Back the Last 24hrs

My exams are over already, so I got more time to look back and reflect on things. It is quite scary looking back what happened in the last 24hrs.

You see, I had finished my first paper which is Quality Engineering at around 12:30pm yesterday afternoon. After settling everything, I had my lunch and reached back home at around 2:30pm. I really don't have the mood and spirit to start studying for today's Logistics paper, so I tried to relax a bit and catch a short nap at around 4pm. I woke up at around 5pm and I start studying for my Logistics subject.

Initially, the first few chapters are quite simple and I managed to recap and recollect them quite fast as I have done my revision around one week back before starting on my Quality Engineering revision. But after a while, it seems that my memory loss or unattentiveness start to set in and I can hardly concentrate at around 6pm onwards. To make things worse, I am only half way through my first lecturer's notes (I got 3 lecturers for my Logistics course) and I left quite a lot from the second and third lecturers.

I tried pushing myself but I just can't absorb anymore. That is around 9pm when I started on the pile of notes from my second lecturer. I really panic during that instant. At that moment in time, my mental nearly breakdown as I got really worried about not been able to complete my revision and I don't seem to be able to recall what I had revised one week back. I can't recall all the formulaes that I have spend hours and hours during last week to memorize. I was totally dishearten and depress for that moment. I got no one to turn to and talk to and staying alone at home really can drive a person crazy. Now, I can finally understand about how stress that can break a man's mental health.

At around 12am, I finally give up studying and tried to get a good rest and wake up fresh in the morning to do the reminding revision, this is actually a very risky move as I might not have the time to complete the revision even though the paper start at 1:30pm today. I got to travel around 1 and a half hours to get to NTU and so I set my alarm at 5am this morning so that I can wake up and continue studying.

At around 4am, I woke up and start studying my notes while still on bed. After taking a rest, my brain starts to function again and I managed to catch up with the revision for all the chapters and complete it at 10am this morning. I was very relieved that I can complete revisiting this subject on time.

Thankfully, I am glad that I am still sober and able to think straight till now, but at that moment of despair, desperation and depression, I am scare that my mental health cannot take it anymore...
I really hope that I won't have to go through this again...